QUESTION:
My son is 3 yr and 3 month old, he was very careful and neat. recently he started to get very aggressive especially during the quarantine in the house. He has been staying home for a month now. He will do anything to hurt and does not care of the consequences. He has lots of energy and is getting hyper, yesterday he pumped the scooter into the glass cabinet, I told him though it will break, he said it is OK I do not care, until he broke it. He will do what he wants no matter how many times I repeat no. He started to break his toys after playing with them for few hours. I put him time out, he refuses and kicks and says bad word, and his voice started to bother the neighbor so I quit doing that. Although we do not fight or say bad words at home. He tends to watch aggressive things on you tube more than anything else. the end point is he likes to hurt and be aggressive and not listen.
When family calls to talk to him, he talks and say I do not like you until they say something he is interested in like candy toys, he will change his mind. also He started hitting me , his mother, he really hurts, sometimes he uses whatever tool he has in his hand to hit and hurt. How can I help him?
ADVICE/SUGGESTIONS:
Sounds like we are dealing with the Totally Terrible Twos---that has lasted into the Threes. The Good News is that since he is only three-plus years old,--with a bit of short-term pain-- you will be able to teach him that it is his job to listen to you; not your job to listen to him. He needs to learn the lesson that it is in his best interest to obey you; not the reverse. Another bit of Good News: YOU are the one that needs to change. Once he recognizes the "new" authority figure in his life , he will then change for the better. Are you willing to change? Are you willing to put your boy through some emotional pain? "A loving mother disciplines the son she delights in." It is time for you to "run the show." Each of your son's infractions you listed above--some of which are quite egregious--point to your inability to know how to be an authority figure in his life. Your enabling seems to be hindering your parenting. But your concern and love for your son also tell me that you can become an amazing mother! But before it is too late---and it isn't----you need to hire a Rosemond Parenting Coach. I would be glad to be your Coach. My information is below. There are other very qualified Parent Coaches on this website as well. There are too many things going on in your situation for my answer here to be of much help. Your thinking needs to be retrained. The nice part is that he is only three, and once you are retrained into a Benevolent Disciplinarian, you will see some success quickly. Some final points to ponder: During this "reign of terror" of his, why does he still have his scooter? Why does he still get candy and toys? With all his hurtful, verbal and physical aggression and disobedience---why is he watching aggressive things on YouTube?
Feel free to contact me for help.
Mike Smart, CLPC
"Parenting OutSmarted"
smartmike59@gmail.com
