QUESTION:
My 12 year old son is stealing money out of my purse. He has a long history of defiance, sneakiness, and lying. He is also disrespectful, and disobedient.
We suspect he's been stealing money for many months, although we've just now confirmed that he definitely is. We don't know what to do. He is currently already in trouble for defiance, and he has no door on his room, and he spends the majority of time in his room as a form of discipline. We are at the end of our ropes.
ADVICE/ SUGGESTION:
In addition to the BIG 3 D's (Defiance, Disobedience, and Disrespect), as well as sneakiness, lying ,and stealing--your preteen son sounds like he is fully expressing his sinful nature with which he was born. It sounds like any discipline strategy being employed is not working, and that this has been an ongoing issue. The fact that he has had a "long history" of several of these behavioral matters, AND the fact that he is on the precipice of entering the tumultuous teen years indicates that these difficulties may get worse before they get better . You need someone to walk you through effective strategies, leadership techniques, an efficacious, loving, discipline philosophy--basically, an organized simple plan that transfers the burden of his misbehavior to the offender(your son) and not to the parents. You have too many issues for me to deal with in this Q and A forum. So here is my answer: HIRE A PARENTING COACH, asap!.....I will be glad to help you if you would like to get in touch with me; and there are many other capable coaches on this website as well. For you to enjoy your son's teenage years; and to ensure a more calmer, serene home environment, an investment of a few hundred dollars is ever so worth it. Please consider it.
Mike Smart, CLPC
"Parenting OutSmarted"
937-925-6136 or smartmike59@gmail.com
