Question:
This is regarding the card system. The rules we initially established are: no hitting/kicking, no throwing and do what mom and dad say. So, sometimes we will be getting dressed and he’s being silly and sticking his underwear on his head. I say “put on your underwear now!” And he continues to be silly… do I say it again? Or immediately take a card away? There are a number of situations like this and sometimes I feel too permissive or too controlling and definitely not consistent.
Advice/Suggestions:
Nowhere in your question do you mention your son's age, which could be somewhat relevant to the situation. Young boys/toddlers have been known to be silly and do silly things. Wearing underwear as a hat shows a creative use of imagination, as well as a way to get mom's attention. Maybe you should join right in, and next time he dons his skivvies upon his head, put a pair on your head as well, and do a "briefs on the brain" dance with him. Have fun with it! My point: it's okay for him to be imaginatively silly. Enjoy this stage of life.
In the future, if you need him to put his underwear on, just say casually once or twice, "Be downstairs in 5 minutes dressed and ready to go." Then leave the room. If he comes down AFTER the five minute time frame, or if he comes down not dressed and ready, with his underwear not covering the appropriate end, THEN he has demonstrated disobedience, and a card should be taken away.
If you are relatively early-on in the Card program, I do think it is okay to voice one reminder. A lot depends on the age of the child. Eventually, there should be no reminders given. Suggestion: employ the use of an alarm clock, a stove timer, or better yet-the timer on your phone, to use for a variety of obedience/disobedience dilemmas: "you have five minutes to finish getting dressed"; "you have ten minutes to pick up your toys"; "you have 30 minutes finish your homework,"; "you have two minutes to be sitting down at the dinner table," etc., etc. Obviously, having to set a timer after you make a request is not designed to be utilized endlessly, but periodically and early on in the program. In general, ignore the silliness, but take note of the disobedience.
