QUESTION:
Hello,
I know you don't know the history at all with my step-daughters.
However, we gave out Easter candy to our 3 daughters (2 step-daughter and one is my own). The 16 year old step-daughter ate a piece of candy and throws a candy wrapper towards me and proceeds to say, "throw that away", which I did. Both step-daughters laugh at this action.
A few minutes later, 16 year old throws another wrapper and it lands on the floor, and proceeds to say the same thing, throw that away, and again both step-daughter laugh. The mother is sitting in the room and says nothing to the 16 year old. I didn't say anything either, but later asked their mom about the situation, and she says, the 16 year old was "just joking", and asks why I took it personally. The mother picked up the candy wrapper btw. SMH.
I'm curious to know what your opinion is of this scenario and how would you have handled this situation with me being a step-dad?
ADVICE/SUGGESTIONS:
Honestly, I think you are in a situation where you need to invest in a Parenting Coach. This site can only give "surfacey" answers, because context is always limited. I've looked at several of the questions/scenarios you have submitted prior on this site, and I see a pattern that has emerged which probably needs some direct outside assistance for a couple months--which I, or another Rosemond Parenting Coach, would be glad to provide. You might need some detailed expert help on some of the following issues:
1. What is the role of a step-dad? Can I discipline and disciple my step-daughters?
2. What does it mean to be a loving authority figure ?
3. What if my wife (significant other) and I are not on the same parenting page?
4. What is the Art of Ignoring? And how do I employ that Art?
5. How can a sense of humor be used when dealing with a disrespectful teen?
6. Am I the head of the household, and if so, what does that mean?
7. Do I make Mountains out of Molehills? AM I too sensitive?
8. How do I deal with issues related to my daughters' iPhone usage?
9. Can I demand chores be done perfectly, and rooms picked up, etc?
10. Should I be "looking" for missteps on the part of my daughters?
11. How much independence should I allow my teen daughters?
So take time and mull over the idea of hiring a Parenting Coach. I think it will be well worth it!
