It's Payback Time: A Nine-Year Old's Transgression

 

Question:

Ok, my son and wife gave their 9 year old daughter use of an old iPad to play games.  My son thought his credit info was disabled and he warned her never to buy ANYTHING. However, he has discovered she was able and DID buy $1,400 worth of Itunes.

Thoughts?  Discipline? (I already don't agree with letting a 9 year old have access...but...)

Thanks

Advice/Suggestions:

To your son and his wife:

    Get rid of the iPAD until she "pays you back"... Put her on Lockdown(no screens, no friends, early bedtime, etc) until all $1400 have been paid back. How does she pay you back? Make a chart, listing the following( make up your own jobs/duties and dollar amounts. Some of these you may want to require her to do. Put at least a dozen options on the list):

Write or type a letter to Grandma Gertrude=$80; Help dad paint the fence out back=$90; Play outside for two hours straight=$30; Do the dishes after a meal=$25; Play a board game with sibling=$25; Weed garden=$55; Help mom do volunteer work at church=$80; Help prepare the evening meal=$70; Clean toilets=$60; bake and bring cookies to the elderly neighbor next door=$45; Dust the house=$35; vacuum the floors=$45; wash the car with dad=$60. These are just samples. Be creative. Notice some of these may actually be somewhat  fun for your daughter, but they contribute to a larger purpose you may have for her, like learning to love the outdoors, or appreciate the joy of playing a board game with a family member, etc. Maybe some good habits will be created. 

 Once she has "earned $1400", you can cancel the Lockdown.  You don't have to give her the full listed dollar amount if a particular duty is not completed well. Lower the amount, or give her zero dollars until the job is done to your high standard.  Of course, this is just one option that you may use as a consequence. But it is an effective one.  And whatever consequence you do use, your child needs to shoulder the burden(not you) and feel some emotional pain. 

Keep me updated on how it goes!

Mike Smart, CLPC

"Parenting OutSmarted"

smartmike59@gmail.com